One Million Moms is a moronic, terrorizing, hate group.

A group has recently come to light that goes by the name "One Million Moms". A group made up of a whopping 47k some bored housewives and religious right type that feel protesting is their sole duty. What do they protest? Well, everything they deem not fit. It's a large umbrella for them. 


     "Here's how the One Million Moms Campaign works. We inform you about a particular issue (TV network, sponsor, or station), giving you a link to a "take action" page on the website. You e-mail the responsible party. That's it!"

Their mission statement could be summed up as "We pick something we don't like, then we get you, the unwashed masses, to spam the crap out of them". Well, that's nice of them to sum up all the issues I don't like in one place so I can protest as easily as possible. So, what have they successfully protested and gotten changed so far? Let's look at the causes they've championed in the name of good entertainment and wholesome family values.

This image accurately shows America's Gaypocalypse

1) JCP (JC Penny)

     What OMM's protests: "On pages ten and eleven, under the title "Freedom of Expression," you'll find "Wendi and her partner Maggie and daughters" and again "Wendi, daughters Raven and Clover, and partner Maggie" in text. In the picture both women are wearing wedding bands."

WOAH. Lesbians are allowed to own children? AND they can freely shop at JCPenny? Not on OMM's watch they won't. How dare that liberal corporation allow the gays to sully the good name of JC Penny and alienate all the honest hard working folks by allowing this to be on ONE PAGE (Two if you count the grandmother on the page across from the couple) in a magazine? Let's not forget to include the fact that JC Penny though it enough to put them under the title "Freedom of Expression". Why don't they just wipe their ass with the constitution and be done with it? Your guess is as good as mine.

What did they accomplish?: Well aside from some tv guest sports to speak on the issue, absolutely fucking nothing. JCP told them earlier in the year when they lobbied that JCP should not have hired Ellen DeGeneres as a spokesperson because she was gay that they can go shove their complaints up their collective fat one million asses. They employed much the same tactic when OMM came after them for this magazine. JCP even went so far as to tell managers to just say "Thank You" and walk away from the crazy shit head that was complaining. OMM's took note and updated their protest page with, "Last time OMM contacted JC Penney store managers, we were brushed off. Some even experienced in person the store manager saying "Thank you" and walking off while their customer and our concerned members were in mid-sentence. OMM has been told that JCP corporate office told store managers to say "Thank you" and then walk away. If they want our business, then we will not be ignored!" Well, I guess that JCP doesn't want your fucking money then so just stop shopping there. Go back home or simply shop somewhere else you homophobes.

Christians in a poor light? Not on TV!

2) ABC's "GCB" (Good Christian Bitches)

     What OMM's protests: "Two months ago, ABC launched the TV series "GCB," a show centered on a bigoted portrayal of Christianity. For ten weeks, episodes have mocked and portrayed Christians in a negative light. This program is about as far from true Christianity as it could be." 

Okay so you don't like the word christian and bitch in the same title? Or are you angry that the show is about a, "nonjudgmental, liberal Christian" and describes the premise of "GCB," saying, that "The show is funny, it's silly." Well we all know Christians aren't silly... or nonjudgemental or liberal for that matter. 

What did they accomplish?: What is so humorous about this campaign from OMM is that because the show was cancelled they are touting it as a victory. Though ABC admits they received a bit of mail about the show that was unfavorable the real reason the show was cancelled was because the ratings grew slowly over the season but never topped over 6 million viewers in a very coveted time slot. (The show was being eyed as a replacement for Desperate Housewives). So good job OMM? You successfully cancelled a show that no one watched anyway. Horay!

Those other characters are probably just
waiting for the chance to object...

3) Marvel/ DC:

     What OMM protests: Gay Superheroes it would seem. Their anger is two fold directed both at Marvel (owned now by Disney) and DC comics (Owned by WB). 

So their page is a pretty entertaining read on this protest. At one point they point out that "Children desire to be just like superheroes. Children mimic superhero actions and even dress up in costumes to resemble these characters as much as possible. Can you imagine little boys saying, 'I want a boyfriend or husband like X-Men?'" Wait, I'm sorry as I don't understand stupid all that well. You, the group OMM, are telling me you trust your children's judgement to read comics and not believe they can fly like Superman and jump off the roof, but, you doubt they can draw a line with human sexuality? So they can separate fantasy from reality but on everything but sexuality. BASIC human sexuality. Or, as I assume, are you more upset that there is another universe (albeit a fantasy one) where the gays are going to spread unchecked because assholes like you don't exist there?

What did they accomplish?: Again, fucking nothing at all. DC and Marvel, because of how the comic industry works have had these stories done for months. They already hit the printer. Even if both companies had a sudden change of heart the best they could do is a giant dumb Tipper Gore sticker over all the gay parts warning people of nothing.

My girlfriend tells me I'm not good at wrapping things up but here, I'll try.

Fuck you, One Million (43 thousand) Moms and fuck all of your hate speech that you wrap up as just "concerned parents". You are pieces of shit.